Bitch, get it in gear!

I should be ecstatic now, five miles, averaged a 10:11 mile, with enough energy to hit the driving range after. But that last 11 seconds is driving me nuts. My mind says, “Did you really need that stop behind the bus stop in the 5th mile for water?” My body says, “I’m the one running this race, and yes, I did need that stop.”

Honestly, I probably would’ve been a little slower had I not been cut off in the last quarter mile. Why would you cut off another runner that close to finish? Well sure, I got cut off, I got irritated, and I sprinted less than a quarter mile just to show up that other runner. Selfish and terrible as that is, that’s what I did. Well, I suppose if you think about it, maybe I set her pace the whole way, and maybe that was her way to force me to kick it into gear.

According to training, the perfect race is to run your hardest and collapse in a heap at the end, knowing that you used every last bit of your body’s potential. I don’t know if I can actually get to that point. There is a significant part of me that wants to make sure that I have enough energy to sit down in front of a cheese omelette after a run of any distance.

Truly though, today was a beautiful day for a competitive run, and I don’t know if I would have done as well if it were a standard training run. Today, was my first time in shorts. Today, was the first time that I had someone looking for me at the start, giving me an encouraging hug and believing in me. Today was the first time I ran a run with disciplined training behind me, regardless of the nasty drunken mess I was two nights before. I suppose I learned a lesson. Losing that discipline cost me 11 measley seconds. It wasn’t worth it in the least.

I ran a damn good run, with enough energy left over to hit the driving range. But I didn’t do my best, and that’s what’s eating at me. I set low standards. My original goal was to hit a 10 minute mile on a 5k. Today, I hit a 10:11 mile on an 8K. On the marathon, I want to do sub-5, preferably somewhere close to 4:30. Today, I did 1/5 of that at the right pace and all I want to do is ice the foot and curl up. I had another talk with my sole today. Just get through one more season. But I say the same thing to one body part or another every year. I just want my body to stay in shape long enough to achieve my dreams…is that too much to ask?